RIP Laurie Bembenek, Vasily Aleksanyan, and Joe Paterno

Since STD Carriers is designed primarily as a warning system for the living we have removed Laurie Bembenek, Vasily Aleksanyan, and Joe Paterno from the registry because they all dead. Bembenek and Aleksanyan died of medical conditions made worse by their sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) while Paterno died of lung cancer after losing his job.

Laurie Bembenek

Laurie Bembenek was best known as Bambi Bembenek, a former Playboy Bunny that served time for murdering her husband’s ex-wife Christine Schultz in 1981. She claimed to be innocent until her dying day, but admitted to having Hepatitis C and being an alcoholic. In 2003 she sued Dr. Phil on the grounds that when she was flown to Los Angeles to appear on his show he housed her in a confined space while knowing she suffered from panic disorders that required her to escape out the window by sliding down a bed sheet. The sheet snapped causing her to fall and injure her leg to the point that it had to be amputated. According to media reports Bembenek died of cancer and her Hepatitis C limited her treatment options.

Vasily Aleksanyan

Images of former Yukos Oil Company Executive Vice President and Moscow inmate Vasily Georgievich Aleksanyan shocked many when he appeared in court suffering from advanced AIDS and cancer. Aleksanyan had been arrested back in 2006 on charges of tax evasion, money laundering, and embezzlement before being held in jail for several years without a conviction. He was eventually released on bail for $50 million rubles in late 2009 before the charges were eventually dropped in June of 2010 because prosecutors failed to convict him before the statute of limitations expired. During that time period Aleksanyan always insisted that he was innocent.While in prison he became an international symbol for human rights groups who blamed the Russian government for failing to treat his AIDS and related cancers. Most believed that Aleksanyan would die in prison before ever reaching trial and considered him lucky to be alive as long as he was.

Aleksanyan's former boss Mikhail Khodorkovsky was the richest man in Russia at the time of his arrest in 2006. He was the owner of Yukos and along with his business associate Platon Lebedev were put on trial for stealing over 350 million tons of Yukos oil along with various fraud related charges. Khodorkovsky was convicted, sentenced to 9 years in prison, and should be released sometime in 2012. Khodorkovsky maintains his innocence and along with many outsiders accuse the Russian government of framing him for political reasons.

The shocking image of Aleksanyan to the right is remarkably similar to that of Tom Hanks in his Academy Award winning role as Andrew Beckett in the 1993 movie Philadelphia and some might consider our use of it in this way as a cruel joke given how he died, but this parody of FaceDouble was never really funny because it wasn’t supposed to be. On the left you can see Aleksanyan at a 2008 court appearance suffering from AIDS and associated cancers similar what Hank's character died from. We thought about removing this image out of respect for the dead, but instead we are going to keep it up as a warning to people with AIDS is Russia not to question Vladmir Putin because if you do he will throw you in prison, deny you medical care, and force you into going to frivolous court hearings when you are too sick to go anywhere until you are dead.

Joe Paterno

Bembenek and Aleksanyan were added to the list of Celebrities with STDs as part of media research, but we did not add Joe Paterno. Paterno was reported by an anonymous user back in 2009 as a Genital Warts carrier. We don’t know if he had it or if he didn’t, but we noticed his picture in the registry the other day and decided to remove it because we heard that he died recently. His official cause of death was lung cancer, but he was recently fired from his job as the head coach of the Penn State football team after his longtime assistant coach Jerry Sandusky was indicted on child molestation charges. Many people thought Paterno died of a broken heart.

Summary

Out of respect for the dead and to improve overall usefulness of the registry we have removed Laurie Bembenek, Vasily Aleksanyan, Joe Paterno. May they rest in peace free from mortal illness.